EXPRESS READ: HOW I OVERCAME DESPAIR AND FOUND PEACE, A PROF SPEAKS

‘For most of my life I was a happy person, but then a cloud came upon me that I couldn’t lift,’ says Africa’s first female professor of construction management, here recently mentoring a group of doctoral students at the University of Cape Town | Photos: Leentjie du Preez

Abimbola (60) is Africa’s first female professor of construction management, which she currently teaches at the University of Cape Town. The daughter of a Nigerian civil servant and a bank worker, the prof grew up with three older brothers in Lagos. She has three adult children and lives in Cape Town’s Rosebank.

I HAD A VERY HAPPY CHILDHOOD and very good relationships with my brothers, who taught me most of what I know. My father was strict and wouldn’t let me board or join after-school clubs like my brothers. Looking back, I think he was afraid of things like teenage pregnancy, though he didn’t spell that out. Only when I became a parent myself did I realise how difficult the job of parenting is!

After school, I applied for architecture but the dean of the faculty earmarked me to be the first female on his building technology/construction management degree, and turned me down for architecture though I had the right cut-off marks. My father found me a place to study architecture near home, but when I thought of the freedom I’d have by leaving, I chose building technology after all.

I took the subject all the way through to a PhD. I later married, and had three children. As a working mother, I coped by involving my children in everything I did. I took them on site, even as babies. When I moved to academia, they came to my office and I gave them students’ work to review to keep them busy.

‘I coped as a working mother by involving my children in everything I did,’ says Abimbola, here with her son Bayonle, who’s currently studying towards an architectural PhD in Switzerland | Photo: Leentjie du Preez

In 2005, the day before I was due to defend my PhD thesis, my HOD asked me to include a PowerPoint presentation in it. I didn’t even know what PowerPoint was! When I got home, my daughter, aged 11, asked why I looked unhappy. Two hours later she called me: she’d put my entire presentation into PowerPoint! Over the years, my kids have helped me with digital technology, including how to install and navigate social media and use AI effectively. They’re a godsend.

But it’s not easy being in a man’s world. Whether on site or in academia, some people question my authority. In industry, I tell the workers that I’m the one paying and if they don’t do what I ask, they’ll be off the job the next day. You have to put your foot down. This can be risky: it’s easy to be manhandled on construction sites by workers who have a grudge, though this can happen to men too.

‘It’s not easy being a woman in a man’s world. People question my authority. You have to put your foot down,’ says Abimbola | Photo: Leentjie du Preez

For most of my life, I was a happy person. But in 2004, I fell into a dark space. It was as if a negative cloud came upon me that I couldn’t lift or explain. I couldn’t sleep or work for about four months. Despite attending Christian schools and also church at times, I’d always argued against the existence of God. But now I felt out of options and found myself praying and praying to Jesus to overcome the depression that was traumatising me. My cousin also asked a pastor from church to support me. This pastor had also been through tough times, having lost his wife to childbirth, but he counselled, encouraged and prayed with me regularly.

On 31st October 2004, I went to bed and had a dream of pots being shattered and souls being freed. I woke up and, though it was raining, a bright light appeared at my window and seemed to drag off a net apparently wrapped around my body. I fell into a deep sleep and when I woke up that negative cloud had lifted. I believe the light was Jesus healing me, to spur me back onto the right path. Amazingly the pastor had the same vision that night of souls being freed.

I got my life back! I had taken no medication but was able to go back to work and had a new thirst for what life can bring. Later, I got a great opportunity to work at the University of Cape Town. This too feels like a miracle that came straight from God.

‘I’d always argued against the existence of God but I found myself praying and praying,’ says Abimbola | Photo: Leentjie du Preez

I believe in God because I encountered Him. I have learnt that your own strength, plans and thoughts can’t solve every problem: I couldn’t have healed myself. It may be harder for people who haven’t encountered Jesus to believe in him but I would say if they don’t investigate, maybe they’re making a mistake.

Having encountered Jesus gives me a sense of peace. I’m able to face each day with hope. I still feel fear but he has the best for me, so I take on challenges of which I might otherwise be afraid. I might cling to the slippery slope by my fingertips at times but I’m so comforted by knowing that I have a God who listens to my prayers and is there for me.♦

Home time. ‘I’m so comforted by knowing that I have a God who listens to my prayers,’ says Abimbola | Photo: Leentjie du Preez