PART OF THE FLOURISHING: KATIE’S STORY

Midwife Katie Wade: ‘My dream is to support friends and colleagues at Khayelitsha District Hospital so they can offer world-class, compassionate care to every patient who enters its doors’ | Photo: Ronelle de Villiers

Katie (54) has assisted births in a variety of circumstances, from the most comfortable of hospitals and homes in the UK and South Africa to the most challenging in Benin, Ethiopia, Sierra Leone and Tanzania, where she regularly gave her own blood to enable mothers in her care to survive. Schooled at Cape Town’s Herschel, she has a master’s in midwifery from the UK and lives with Tim, her engineer husband, in Cape Town’s Bergvliet. She’s stepmother to his daughters, game ranger Meg and occupational therapist Kate

Khayelitsha is a community full of life, culture and complexity. Formed in 1983 as part of the apartheid plan to keep the races apart, it’s one of Cape Town’s largest and fastest-growing townships. All these years after apartheid fell, it still faces a vast inequality that’s felt especially in the health sector. Here, as in many healthcare centres in South Africa, there is often a lack of quality of patient care due to training deficiencies, low staff morale, overstretched leadership and lack of resources and leadership. It breaks my heart.

A typical home for many living in Cape Town’s Khayelitsha. ‘All these years after apartheid fell, Khayelitsha still faces a vast inequality that’s felt especially in the healthcare sector,’ says Katie | Photo: Ronelle de Villiers

After connecting with Khayelitsha District Hospital (KDH) over a family-planning project,  I started working there full-time as a midwife trainer in 2019. Then Covid hit, and I ended up heading up the vaccine unit, getting to know every department in the hospital. I came across some beautiful people who were committed, hardworking and caring, but feeling discouraged.

When I left KDH in 2022 to train midwives elsewhere, I felt I was leaving a piece of my heart there. As I walked out of the hospital, I felt a prompt in my heart to support it that I truly believe was from God.

The longing of my heart is to see improved patient care at KDH. My work elsewhere in Africa has shown me that staff who are encouraged, supported and well cared-for can in turn care well for their patients. I want to be part of seeing the professionals flourish.

Staff at KDH can feel discouraged, says Katie, but her work elsewhere in Africa has shown her that well-served and cared-for healthcare professionals serve and care well, and can push through overwhelming odds to serve their communities | Photos: Leentjie du Preez

I realised that what the hospital needed was a portal for many good things to roll into it, so I started Friends of KDH, a non-profit company that’s a channel for volunteers, projects, staff workshops, training and donations. The possibilities are endless. Some projects will be large and change the way services are run. Others will be small acts of kindness, making things better for just one patient. Both are equally important. The great thing is that KDH isn’t a massive hospital. With its 340 beds, it’s of a size where you can make a difference.

Launching this initiative has been like navigating uncharted waters with no map and a very small boat! To say I was out of my depth is an understatement. I needed a board to launch the company, so I had to grow into being more business-minded. Governance, fundraising and community engagement have become my world, a very different skillset from midwifery. And South Africa’s current political and economic climate made starting Friends of KDH a particular challenge!

Katie started Friends of KDH, a non-profit company that’s a channel for volunteers, projects, staff workshops, training and donations. ‘The great thing is that KDH is of a size where you can make a difference,’ she says  | Photo: Leentjie du Preez

Yet, I honestly believe God has called me to do this. When I’m overwhelmed, I remind myself (and Him) that this was His idea! And God has been faithful and come through every time with brilliant solutions. We have a board of five, with representation from Khayelitsha community stalwarts, and we’re currently a team of three volunteer executives. Julia Milligan, a CA friend with a wealth of non-profit knowledge, volunteered to be our financial person, while another friend who’d worked in corporate social investment was able to offer a myriad of helpful perspectives. Having someone come and take on our social media for a season was also an answer to desperate, whispered prayers. It’s amazing how the right people have come along. We’re all volunteers but we hope in time to be able to pay salaries to keep things sustainable.

Fellow volunteer, chartered accountant Julia Milligan, helps with the financial side of things at Friends of KDH | Photo: Ronelle de Villiers

Our primary focus is to support hospital initiatives and needs, such as a recent breast-screening event. A highlight has been turning a storeroom into an emergency counselling room, giving dignity to patients and staff who need a private space to process grief and loss. Before, bad news often had to be given in busy corridors. We’ve had miraculous cases of financial provision just when it’s needed, including a donation just when we needed it to cover the legal costs of setting up our non-profit company. Small gifts have made such a difference too: a tea and coffee urn donated by the Catholic Women’s League enhanced the outpatients’ experience, as do the gift packs they provide for mothers.

Katie with hospital staff in the new emergency counselling room that Friends of KDH created out of a storeroom. ‘This has been a highlight, giving dignity to patients and staff who need a private space to process grief and loss,’ says Katie | Photo: Leentjie du Preez

‘We’ve had miraculous cases of financial provision just when it’s needed,’ says Katie. ‘Small gifts have made such a difference too: a tea and coffee urn donated by the Catholic Women’s League enhanced the outpatients’ experience.’  | Photo: Leentjie du Preez

Our current audacious goal is to open a therapeutic play area for children. The area we’re focusing on is a courtyard outside Paediatric Outpatients so that kids waiting to be seen can play. This will make it a much better experience for the children and their caregivers, and the doctors will end up seeing much happier children.

Above: Friends of KDH is currently fundraising for its ‘audacious goal’ of building a therapeutic play area for children right here. Below: When working elsewhere in Africa, Katie used to give blood to enable mothers in her care to survive | Top photo: Leentjie du Preez

My primary source of strength in this work is prayer. In the early hours of the morning, I ask Jesus, ‘Are we moving forward, how do we get better at marketing, how do we raise more funds?’ Often, He answers through the actions of others. For example, Cape Town foodie Karen Dudley recently did a demonstration for Woolworths and donated the earnings to Friends of KDH. I don’t think these things are chance, I think it’s God intentionally working with us to go forward.

I was born into a Christian home and in fact my father left business to get ordained when he was in his fifties. I grew up believing in God but while doing my psychiatric nursing qualification, I had a faith crisis when I became overwhelmed by how widespread mental health issues were and how they can affect us all. In those days, mental health treatment was not what it is today, and it was very hard for some people to be in the world. I got confused by the delusions of religiosity I encountered, but ultimately I gained a deep understanding of how much we need God for emotional wellbeing.

season of disappointment

I then experienced some real miracles in my midwifery life in Africa. However, when I was interviewed by Thislife Online seven years ago, I was in a season of disappointment. I’d always hoped for a family and, as someone who’s aimed their whole working life to see mothers and babies flourish, I’d spent decades dreaming of what my own story could hold.

Over time, I’d become despondent. It was hard to reconcile my faith in God and the work I see Him do around me with my loneliness and lack of my own child, especially when I experienced the grief of losing a little girl whose teenage mother had disappeared after giving birth at my hospital in Tanzania. I had loved her intensely for 51 weeks and applied to adopt her, but she was given to someone else. My heart was broken.

As time went on and no husband was forthcoming, I’d concluded that my life would be lived in my calling to midwifery and running Friends of KDH. I’d turned 50 and knew that I could not have my own children. I was at peace with that but still feeling disappointed.

Yet God had some surprises in store. My journey with Tim began unexpectedly and out of his own story of loss, grief and faith. Introduced to me by mutual friends, Tim was a man whose heart was just beginning to mend following the death of his wife. When we met, I saw that what he needed was a friend, and that was all I expected.

‘I’d always hoped for a family and, over time, as no husband was forthcoming, I’d become despondent,’ says Katie. ‘My journey with Tim began unexpectedly’ | Photo: Ronelle de Villiers

Over time, our friendship deepened and I became aware of the gravity of what was unfolding. Tim has two daughters, Meg and Kate, who were still navigating their own sorrow, and the thought of a new beginning was challenging to consider. I told Tim that he should only consider proposing if his girls were happy. When he finally talked to them, I was thrilled that they asked him what had taken him so long!

The girls’ acceptance was a gift I’ve never taken lightly. That my deepest joy and longing was being fulfilled in the loss experienced by these three people I’d come to love profoundly felt hard. How could I truly celebrate what I was receiving when it was at their cost? However, God is the one who redeems, and I realised He was redeeming not just my story of loss, but He was in theirs too. I’ll never replace the girls’ mother – nor would I want to – but I love them both fiercely and treasure our relationship. I’ve found a capacity for love in a space I hadn’t known before.

“The girls’ acceptance of me was a gift I’ve never taken lightly,’ says Katie of her step-daughters, Meg and Kate. ‘I love them both fiercely’

In Tim, I’ve found a partner who shares my values and vision for making a difference in the world. Through his support, I have extra wind in my sails as I work with Friends of KDH and gain perspective in setbacks. I can get despondent when something is challenging or I feel we’re moving too slowly, and the blessing is that Tim reflects back to me what the journey has been, and reminds me of how far we’ve come.

A family visit to a hospital Katie worked at in Tanzania. Says Katie: ‘Through Tim’s support, I have extra wind in my sails as I work with Friends of KDH’

Marrying Tim was as much about joining a family as it was about creating a couple. I now have stepdaughters, and my nieces and nephews have new cousins! My sister and I always dreamt of going on holiday together with our children, and now they dovetail in ages. To me, their relationships are the sweetest example of God’s attention to detail, and a tangible example of how He’s restored the years the locusts have eaten. I remain convinced of His great love for me.

‘The relationships between my sister’s children and my step-daughters are a tangible example of how God has restored the years the locusts have eaten,’ says Katie. Here, enjoying Christmas together, are her stepdaughter Megan and nephew David

And I remain convinced of God’s great love for the people of Khayelitsha. Through Friends of KDH, we’re striving to make the hospital a lighthouse of healthcare, and a symbol of hope and renewal for Khayelitsha. I dream that it would be a place where every patient is safe and cradled in kindness and excellence.’

Inside and outside Khayelitsha District Hospital: ‘I dream it would be a place where every patient is safe and cradled in kindness and excellence,’ says Katie | Photos: Leentjie du Preez