EXPRESS READ: SOMETHING UNEXPECTED HAPPENED TO ME IN PRISON, SAYS THANDA

‘I feel terrible remorse and immense gratitude,’ says Thanda Krwece, who committed two murders as a teenager. In prison, something unexpected changed his attitude to other people and to the meaning of life | Photo: Nicky Elliott

Raised primarily by his great-grandmother and then his grandmother, Thanda (33) grew up in a number of homes in the Eastern and Western Cape. Today he lives and works in Cape Town’s Northern Suburbs

GROWING UP going from home to home, I always felt like a nobody. Gangsters were the people my community valued and so, when I was beaten up by one at the age of 14, I joined a gang to force people to look at me in a different way.

Still aged 14, I committed my first murder. A member of our gang was insulted by a rival gang member and, very scared but feeling under pressure to prove myself as a latecomer to the gang, I used a knife the insulted guy gave me and stabbed the rival member. Unfortunately, I cut him in the wrong place and he died.

I got a five-year suspended sentence because of my age and was released to my family’s care as long as I moved away from the area. I think I was too young to feel much guilt and, having escaped punishment, I sank into deeper crime. I made new gangster friends and, at 18, I committed a second murder. This time, three of us were hired by a lady to kill her husband. The trial was devastating, and in April 2012 I was sentenced to life in prison. I remember my grandmother fainting in court.

Prison life was brutal. I joined another gang and fought to maintain a reputation of strength that would keep me safe, but inside I was exhausted and purposeless. To create a picture of myself as a rehabilitated person to parole officers, I started attending spiritual programmes and later a programme called Restorative Justice.

‘In prison I fought to maintain a reputation that would keep me safe, but inside I was exhausted and purposeless,’ says Thanda | Photo: Nicky Elliott

On this programme we learnt about the ripple effect of a crime, how it goes further than the victims to the people who care about them and attend to them. Forced to confront the reality of my crimes, I left it with an unbelievable level of remorse for the hurt I’d caused. I cried as I thought of the choices I’d made and those I’d rejected. I had no idea how to change and believed I’d messed everything up, that there was no hope for me.

But in the midst of this darkness, something unexpected happened. I encountered God. I’d grown up going to church purely because my grandmother made me. But in prison I heard a pure form of the gospel that I’d never heard before. I came to understand that while I’m nothing before God, He still shows me mercy.

more to life

The Bible became my source of strength and, as I surrendered to Christ, my heart began to change and with it my direction, my thinking patterns, my whole life. I felt hope for the first time in years that there was more to life than the type of life I was living. I attended a 12-week Alpha Course, which covers the basics of Christianity, and it was so exciting. We’d have two hours of a great time, learning, having fun, then speaking about serious matters.

My grandmother had worked in the home of a lady named Jenny, who started writing to me and calling me when I was in prison. ‘Stay away from the gangs, you’re better than that,’ she said. She looked at me so differently from how I looked at myself and this too gave me hope. She said she would help fund studies for me, so education became part of my transformation. I studied for Matric and eventually earned a B. Comm degree, a difficult journey I believe was only made possible by God’s strength. 

Thanda with Jenny Slack, who had employed his grandmother, and encouraged him while he was in prison. ‘She gave me hope in how she spoke to me,’ says Thanda | Photo: Nicky Elliott

After 13 years, I was released from prison. While the challenges of having to provide for myself felt overwhelming, I knew God would continue to guide me. I planned to start a shoe-cleaning business but a friend of mine from prison put me in contact with a man called Paul who’s a supporter of The Message Trust, an organisation that reintegrates ex-offenders. Paul and his colleague interviewed me for a junior position at the insurance company that he runs. I’ve been there for almost two years now, have been able to buy myself a car and an apartment, and have been invited to qualify as a ‘key individual’ in the business. Being interviewed and trusted despite my past has revived my confidence so much.

Every day, I’m reminded of God’s grace and the second chance He’s given me. I don’t want to waste this, so I try to mix with people who hold me accountable, to associate myself with the right people and the right activities. On Saturdays I serve in Drakenstein Prison to give my hand and an ear to offenders who are in the situation that I was in, to show them kindness. I think that we’re all here to allow God to use us.

I am extremely sorry to have caused people so much pain. I know I can never reverse what I have done and I don’t quite know how to deal with this, but I try to walk in the purpose God has set before me.

No matter how broken we are, no matter how lost, whatever dark pit we’re in, God’s love can reach us and change everything. I’m living proof of the fact that He followed me even into prison.’ ♦

Thanda obtained Matric and then a B. Comm degree in prison and, after his release, found work at an insurance company. On Saturdays he drives to the prison where he was incarcerated to show current prisoners some kindness | Photo: Nicky Elliott